Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Could Things Get Any Worse?

I was sent from Kuwait to Fort Bliss in Texas (near El Paso).  Things just kept getting worse for me.  I spent several months there, falling deeper into depression.  I felt like my life was slipping away.  And in a way it was.  I finally got home in October of 2009, but things were no better.  My child and ex-husband had to put up with a wife and mom that was not "with it".  It was more like I was just existing and not living.  Eventually he and I split up (due to problems not related).  At first the custody was 50/50.  It soon happened where my depression worsened and I could not quite be the mother I had always thought I would be.  He ended up having main custody of her. 
I tried school for a short time at a private college.  It didn't work and the funds I had to live on were soon gone.  This is the point where I had to move back home.  I did get a job fairly quickly working at Quad Graphics.  It was okay, I was making some money, but I didn't feel like my true skills were being used.  Instead of being like an office assistant of sorts, I was feeding magazine covers onto a machine that is bigger than a house and clearing up jam after jam.  Very frustrating and I was still going through a period of depression.
At the time of this posting, I am still living at home but I am finally doing something with my life that I feel is of value.  Life is definitely looking up for me.  I still have bouts of depression at times, but I do see a doctor to regulate it and keep my mood in a more positive state.  I also spend as much time as possible with my daughter, whom I love dearly.

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