In my last post, I talked about how I became a full timer. Unfortunately, as quickly as I was like a rising star, I fell down without being able to pick myself back up.
I had apprehensions about starting my new position at the armory. But my new supervisor turned out to be someone I had worked with previously, and he made me feel welcome there. We even became good friends, one I keep in contact with to this day. Anyways, life at the armory was okay, but I no longer felt like I was the knowledgeable one. It seemed I had to constantly ask questions and couldn't remember any of the answers to what I needed to be doing. I felt lost and kind of hopeless, in a way. I felt I couldn't trust myself to make any sound decisions anymore. Especially when we had drill weekends, and I had to attempt to lead the soldiers that were placed under me. It was like the blind leading a pack of children.
In February of 2009, my unit was sent to Texas to train for deployment. I started having issues with things, one of them being my memory was shot and I seemed to be in a constant fog. I couldn't sleep and things just seemed to be spiraling out of control. I lost my rank and was demoted down to Sergeant due to what is called a negligent discharge (thankfully, it was just a blank and not a real round). Then we shipped off to Kuwait. After arriving there, I started feeling really strange. I was having panic attacks and I had severe paranoia and depression. I went to be seen by a doctor and was told I would not be going to Iraq, but would be sent back to the United States. And that is the time when I had to pretty much say goodbye to my career.
No comments:
Post a Comment